Wednesday 7 August 2013

If it's not at least a little scary, it's not worth doing.



Trawling through my 'Documents' folder for who knows what, I stumbled across an unfinished bit of writing whose file name caught my eye - "If it's not at least a little scary..." It was a piece I started as part of a joint newsletter-type publication call "The Carrier" which a friend began to help those of us with difficult to define jobs share with friends and family what it is we actually do day to day. For one reason or another, either due to too much work or a bout of writer's block, I never finished it. This is as far as I got - 

If it's not at least a little scary, it's not worth doing. 

This is my mantra for 2013, a constant reminder as to why I left the comfort of a job to venture into the wilderness that is freelancing and pursuing something I’m really passionate about. The other faces that grace the pages of this publication are a constant reminder to me of what people can achieve when they push the boundaries, explore uncharted territory and do the things they love most, and I only hope I can contribute my bit to the entrepreneurial pot. I’ve always done my best work under pressure - rarely starting an essay until the night before it was due at school, getting twice as much done when I’m snowed under than when things are going at an easy pace. 

Have a little fear in your life...

Who knows where my February mind was going next. My August brain will continue it as such - 

The last 8 months have been some of the most difficult, exhausting, challenging, rewarding and incredible of my life. The amount I've learned, the people I've met and the opportunities I've been given are far beyond what I could have ever imagined at the start of the year. In January, I saw The Bream Team as an experiment - a chance to explore the food world, make some connections, gain some experience and learn where I might be able to fit into the food mix. Very quickly, it's become so much more than that. I've been lucky enough to run popups in some pretty amazing spaces (with the Clock Tower at St Pancras probably topping the list, and now a monthly occurrence!), have met some really inspiring people who I now call friends, eaten some amazing food created by said friends, and have even cooked for Delia Smith (afterwards, she asked me for me tart recipe!!!!!)! 

It's also been more emotionally and physically demanding than I ever could have imagined, has made me an incredibly unreliable person to socialise with (not that I would have any money to socialise with...), and time seems to be an endlessly elusive thing. I thank my lucky stars I have friends who continue to invite me to things, regardless of how many times I've had to miss an outing or cancel last minute due to food-related things. Don't get me wrong, I love food and I love working in the food industry, but it's been a completely immersive experience. Being totally immersed in something has it's amazing sides, but it has it's downsides as well. 




As far as the amazing bits go though, I think part of the reason I've been lucky enough to have such opportunities and experiences in such a short time is thanks to this idea of looking for a little sense of fear in everything I chose to do. While I've gotten a lot more comfortable in the kitchen - be it running popups or private catering - every event is a new challenge filled with unexpected hurdles and surprises that are guaranteed to keep me on my toes. The greatest learning experiences I've had have been when agreeing to do events that are one step beyond my past experience - be it for a larger crowd of people, a bespoke menu with unfamiliar dishes, or a time schedule, which 6 months ago, I wouldn't have even fathomed was possible. These types of events usually spin me into a ball of nerves and stress, and find me zigzagging around, worried that this won't turn up or that won't turn out, and yet, by the end of it all, not only do I have such a sense of relief, but I have a new set of skills and 'lessons learnt' under my belt. 

I'm by no means an expert on anything, nor do I claim these to be universal truths, but here are a few of the top things I try to constantly remind myself of - 

  • If you decide to jump off the deep end, really go for it - once you've taken that first leap, you may as well keep leaping. 
  • Continue to do things a little (or a lot) outside your comfort zone, things that make your stomach tie in a little knot (in a good way). Don't get too comfortable. 
  • Do the things you've always wanted to do but never thought you were capable of. 
  • Ask for help if you need it - taking a leap into something new can be lonely and overwhelming, and people are more willing to help than you realise. 
  • No matter how stressed or busy you get, remember to make time for friends. Even if it's just a 'How are you?' text or a 5 minute phone call, don't lose touch with those that matter most. 
  • Be up for anything - help out other people in the industry, make friends and exchange services with others in the same boat, you are all in it together and you'd be amazed at where those exchanges can lead. 
I'm going to stop listing things now, because I don't think I'm old or wise enough to share any more nuggets of potential knowledge at this point. That and this post has gotten to be way too long - extra brownie points if you've made it this far! 


I might be about to take another giant leap, and despite being way out of my depth, if it pulls off, it's sure to be a pretty amazing experience.

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